2/29/12


Today was another good day in work, except I am interrupting the flow of the regular people on Tour 1. I get up and answer calls when it is not my turn, they like to alternate between themselves. I just want to be busy.


The guy that I was talking about yesterday is really sad. He never ever has anything to say that is good. Doom and gloom all the way. He is never ever wrong, and don't tell him that he is wrong, holy crap he freaks out and gets worse.


He makes me realize that I am a great person. I have a positive outlook compared to him. I Love my job but have a very difficult time with the other workers. It is me and not them. I will keep him in mind from now on.


I am going to call my trainer and get back to working out with her once a week. It is a little expensive at this time. But when I stop eating out I will be able to pay for her easily. And it will be much better for me. I feel so much more positive about myself today, just because of the grouchy guy at work. He is motivating me more everyday. Just think I have 5 more weeks on graveyard.


Instead of a friend I go to counseling, then it is all about me. I do this because I don't like to tell friends about my troubles and problems, usually they turn it around and make it all about them. And I don't get a chance to vent my problems. So it is easier for me to hire a friend and get the satisfaction that I want. 


I live by myself except for my fat old cat. It is so great to come home to silence.  I can do what I want for how long I want. I am the only one making any messes and the only one to clean them up when I want to.  This is the first time in 22 years that I have been truly alone. I love it. I know I am done with relationships, no more boyfriends.  I might try and find a friend to do somethings with, but they would have to be single with very little commitments. 

2/28/12


Not a bad day in work.One of the guys that I work with has such a negative attitude, nothing is ever right, everybody else is wrong, and he can do no wrong. Never anything positive about anything. WOW!! I am glad that I will only be there for 5 weeks. He is never happy about something, someone, anywhere, anything. Amazing!!


Chatted with an old friend today and she seems to try and be real, but she will talk about you to anybody you talk to her about. She is not to be trusted.


So I am going to set some goals and try and lose some weight  about 40 pounds. I don't have someone to support me. This is something that I know is my fault because I don't trust people and by choice, choose not have a friend. My son would help but I am not comfortable with that right now. He has his own life and he needs to work on it himself. I feel that parents should not dump their problems on their children. We should be there to support them.


I have a treadmill and a bowflex, I just need to start using them. And not go out to breakfast every morning. I need to figure out what to eat, I hate to cook. 


So my goals will be not to go out to eat on work days.
Start using the treadmill everyday for 25 to 30 minutes.
Being honest with myself.
And listening to me, not ignoring what I am saying to me.


See you tomorrow.

I have not used a blog. 

So this is going to be like a journal to be able to vent off the garbage that goes on in life. 

Maybe if someone out there reads this and sees that everybody goes through different versions of the same life stuff and comes out the other side in one piece.

So I will begin with my ramble and see what comes of it.

2/27/2012

Here is a little about me.

I am over 50 and have one son, never been married and never wanted to be married.

Graduated high school and have had several years of college, some for work and some for fun.

I live on the west coast and my family lives on the east coast. I am buying my home and do not have financial troubles, I own two cars. I am a disabled vet. And have one 15 year old cat. I am about 30 pounds overweight and at this time I am very lazy about myself. I choose to not have very many people in my life. I don't trust or like too many people. So at this time I use a counselor for a friend and confidante. 

I work for a very large company that is in lots of financial problems. This is not what it makes the company difficult to work for,  the company has always been a difficult place to work for. Poor management, lack of respect for the employees, lots of favoritism, ass kissing, the union does not do it's job, too much gossip, no one held accountable for any of their actions. All kinds of crap like that.

 

I repair machines and equipment.

I expect alot from myself at work and that is where most my stress comes from.

I believe that I am supposed to go to work and do 8 hours, not stand around for the first two hours and talk to someone else and keep them from their work also. Or spend an hour eating cereal on the clock before I get my toolbox and start working.

I get my work do and then I don't hold up operations when they come in do start the machines up. Then I can mess around or do extra work.

I don't talk with most of the other people at work. Too much gossip and back stabbing. I also don't kiss ass with management. In other words I don't get along well with over 80% of the people at work and choose not to try to even get along with them.